The Lemon Law.

I love Barney Stinson from the CBS TV show How I Met Your Mother. He's this annoying geeky horndog played by Neil Patrick Harris. He loves to hit on women, go to strip clubs, and play laser tag. I am so into his character that I even did a research about this thing Barney calls The Lemon Law.

The Lemon Law may be invoked if, at any point during the initial five minutes (300 seconds) of a first date, either party deems the union hopeless and elects to abort said date in the interest of time and/or self-respect. Receipt of this card herebey absolves the Giver from any "hard feelings" or "questions" from the Lemon Lawyee relevant to the discontinuance of the date which may be terminated for any reason including, but not limited to: tawdry attire, breath, homeliness, misplaced/excessive body hair, Long Island accent, Public School Education, bad credit, no credit, suspicious odor(s).

Addenda:
(I) Giver may waive the Lemon Law should Lemon Lawyee immediately consent to a no-stings attached "stand", duration of which shall be no longer than one (1) night.

(II) The terms of this agreement are non exclusively transferable in deference to the emergence of the Lemon Law as a "thing".

(III) In the unlikely event of a simultaneous invocation, parties shall enact one (1) "High Five", with neither party officially assuming credit for the Lemon Law issuance.